Finding my brave
I have been building "my photography website" for over 15 years. Every time I finish, I decided it isn't right and start over. Trying a new platform that might serve me better, function better, be easier to manage. If I hear myself saying "working on my website" AGAIN, when asked the question, "what are you doing this weekend?. I think I might spontaneously combust. All the things not done, experienced, shared, created because "I have to finish my website."
It is true, web design can be hard, expensive, frustrating. I have even had friends who have offered to help, but I have never been organized enough to follow through. BUT, the truth of the matter is I don't finish because I am afraid. I use to be brave. I use to take chances, be vulnerable, not worry about what if.... but somehow along the way, I have lost my brave.
This new website has been "finished" for months, and last week I started looking at other platforms that might be better..... ya see the cycle?? .. But last night I sat myself down and said ENOUGH, move on, create some space for something else. There is no magic formula here, I have to make a choice, I can continue to work on my website and hide what lives inside or I can leap and see where I land, I can't live here anymore.
The truth is, the website will never be finished but I have decided it won't be because I am too afraid to share it!! It will be because I desire to create a living, playful place to express things and to have some sort of documentation of my work, for me. To find a community of like minded friends in this time of isolation. And a deeper hope is freedom from the paralysis of fear, inspiration to others to forge ahead, in-spite of the voices in their heads, and an invitation to leap and find our brave.
Have you found your brave? What helps you?